


why are they all verified

by dwarf_planet



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Multi, Parent Tony Stark, Pining, Protective Harley Keener, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, also too many vines, and ratatouille quotes, but i'll probably figure something out just wait, help i have an addiction to ratatouille i think, i literally don't know how i could sneak any angst in here, in the meantime there's plenty of, seriously what's up with that?, too many references to sex, well it's deadpool what did you expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwarf_planet/pseuds/dwarf_planet
Summary: just another avengers twitter fic. i've never posted anything on twitter so sorry if it's inaccurate. this is basically just crack and i've written all of it at times when i should be sleeping-
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Loki & Miles Morales, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 84
Kudos: 405





	1. it starts.

**Author's Note:**

> yo yo yo  
> i shouldn't be starting another WIP but here we are :/  
> enjoy lmao

spandexter @spider-man

lmao by the end of the year everyone will be blind

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

kid when did you get a twitter

> dish dash gone in a flash @EugeneThompson

holy fuck spiderman is on twitter??

>> spandexter @spider-man 

@EugeneThompson jfc include the hyphen

> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

wait can all the stans just take a moment to pause and appreciate the humor

> Ned @guy.in.the.chair

wait but does this mean what i think it does

>> better than you @callmemj

@guy.in.the.chair i already know what you’re gonna do and you better not

>>> Ned @guy.in.the.chair

@callmemj :(

  


come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

so in other news the kid got a twitter, i suddenly realized how old he is, and i feel about a hundred years older now

> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

mood

> Star-Spangled Ass @capsicle

Oh, care to enlighten the rest of us on what that feels like, Tony?

>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

SHIT

  


a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

so,,, @spider-man ,,, pray tell,,, art thou sir anthony stark’s other child

> spandexter @spider-man 

omg !!! r u harley ????

>> better than you @callmemj

calm tf down your gay is showing

>> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

wait does he talk about me

>>> respect my drones :( @Falcon

the better question is when doesn’t he

  


beter barkour @pbparker

hi i was just wondering if i could go thru one (1) day without the weight of living pulling me into the pit that is my Own Self Hatred :::::)

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

on my way kid

>> dish dash gone in a flash @EugeneThompson

WHAT THE FUCK

> THOR @GodOfThunder

What is wrong, Baby Stark?

>> dish dash gone in a flash @EugeneThompson

okay but someone please explain to me why important people are actually paying attention to penis parker

> better than you @callmemj

call me when tony leaves, loser

  


like123 @abcbabyuandmenow

Does Tony Stark have kids?? Is he hiding more behind that faceplate than a dark past??

> yourworstregret @someemosuperfan

omg do you think @spider-man @ihadmorethanonepotato and @pbparker are his kids? Cuz that’s actually v cute ngl #IronDad

> William from second grade @remember_me

hey @YouKnowWhoIAm do you have kids? #IronDad

> he’s babey @spideystan0924

#IronDad omg

> biderman @bi.ased.and.beyond

#IronDad #IronFam #SpiderSon the tea is so hot

  


Salt and @Pepper.Potts

Hello, everyone! No, Tony does not have any kids, please calm down. Peter Parker is simply an intern and he works with Spider-Man regularly. They are not related or adopted, so please stop with the rumors. Thank you.

> Salt and @Pepper.Potts

@YouKnowWhoIAm and @pbparker - Why do you two find such joy in making my life harder??

  


hoppin n boppin @Hawkeye

that awk moment when ur trying to make ur escape but tony blocked off the vents

> why have you heard something @theogspider

i’m not mad, just disappointed.

>> spandexter @spider-man

o shit she really pulled that one

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

i told you i would. i warned you. but still you refuse to learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya like jazz ?
> 
> here, parkner discord. join us. https://discord.gg/rZsGwXz  
> and lemme know if the link doesn't work please 0:


	2. loki stole a kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more randomness (:

beter barkour @pbparker

do i vibe with dodie or am i just sad and gay ?? the world may never know

> Val @valkyrie 

@snekkygod listening to billie eilish be like:

> like123 @abcbabyuandme

big mood

> d u c k @jbbarnes

r u sick of losing soulmates

>> beter barkour @pbparker

GFWYFHISK HOW DO U EVEN KNOW THAT

  


why have you heard something @theogspider

i’m surrounded by idiots

> spandexter @spider-man

i thot u loved me mom :(

> Star-Spangled Ass @capsicle

I agree.

>> why have you heard something @theogspider

@capsicle you’re one of them moron

> better than you @callmemj

tell me about it

  


better than you @callmemj

i don’t say this a lot but there are actually a few people i look up to

> beter barkour @pbparker

aw,,, mj i love u 2

>> better than you @callmemj

@pbparker not you, pepper potts and natasha romanoff 

>>> beter barkour @pbparker

i should’ve seen this coming

>>> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

wait @callmemj what about me i thought we had something

>>>> better than you @callmemj

@shuri first of all) no, second of all) you quote vines

>>>>> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

wow i see how it is,,, in that case: well, when life gives you lemons

>>>>>> beter barkour @pbparker

BUM BUMDA BUM B U M

  


deadpool @themercwithamouth

@ everyone with a necrophilia kink, ya know i can revive, so just… feel free to kill me whenever and have your way with me ;;;;))))

> spandexter @spider-man

oh g O D

>> deadpool @themercwithamouth

you interested spideybaby

> hoppin n boppin @Hawkeye

i’m willing to try anything once

> yourworstregret @someemosuperfan

god has abandoned this timeline

  


spandexter @spider-man

i love that even when i literally call nat “mom” no 1 says anything cuz they know she’s 2 smart 4 that but the sec mr. stark is vaguely fatherly every1 is like “he’s hiding a kid” “nO T H R E E”

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

now listen here-

> why have you heard something @theogspider

yes and they’d better not start pointing fingers in my direction or they might lose those fingers

>> better than you @callmemj 

I C O N

  


trickster @snekkygod

I was walking around Midgard earlier today and I just passed by these grown ass adults being transphobic towards their own son and now I’m wanted for kidnapping. Oops. Let’s just say I was being mind controlled again

> lowkey’s kid @smileystickeronmychromebook

thank you so much, mr. loki sir ! if they find you i’ll just say we were hanging out and i forgot to tell my parents and it was no harm done :)

> beter barkour @pbparker

we stan

> spandexter @spider-man

teach the transphobes who’s boss 0:<

> NYPD @NYPD

The parents are very concerned and would like their child returned to them. If there are accusations of abuse, we can look into it further but as of now, the evidence suggests you have kidnapped this child.

>> lowkey’s kid @smileystickeronmychromebook 

dang you really be doing him dirty like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed ! lemme know if you have any requests for this fic :)  
> thanks for reading !!


	3. vine is alive in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more of this crack

come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

me: i’m scared dad

howard: do you trust me son

me: yes

howard: come on son

me: *does a trust fall*

howard: *turning around and letting me fall* rule number one: never trust anybody

> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

my homophobic town that hates me: who are you texting?

me: oh uh i have a date tonight :D

town: oh yeah?

me: yeah

town: who’s the lucky guy hAHAHAHAH

> beter barkour @pbparker

completely giving up, starring me, me, me and introducing me

> hoppin n boppin @Hawkeye

me, hopping out of the vents: GAH

whoever’s nearby: stOp i coulda drop my croissant >:0

> lowkey’s kid @smileyfaceonmychromebook

me to my transphobic parents: my friends all hate me and think i’m an idiot, have a nice day !

them, who don’t care: thanks *walks away*

>> trickster @snekkygod

Me to @smileyfaceonmychromebook ‘s parents: Didn’t see you there, I was too busy mmmmm blockin’ out the haters

> Star-Spangled Ass @capsicle

i love myself. even though i look like a burnt chicken nugget, i still love myself

>> d u c k @jbbarnes

more like a frozen chicken nugget lmao

>>> beter barkour @pbparker

@jbbarnes way to ruin the vibe smh

  


biderman @bi.ased.and.beyond

the avengers have so many problems and they’re just vibing with vines and honestly ? mood.

> he’s babey @spideystan0924

can’t believe @jbbarnes would just ruin the vibe like that though istg

>> spandexter @spider-man

ikr i was expecting cap to do it

>>> he’s babey @spideystan0924

@spider-man OMG

  


better than you @callmemj

now i’m not saying to yell at your neighbors, but i may have just laughed at mine and yelled that he was a loser when he missed a basket while trying to show off to his little cousin

> Ned @guy.in.the.chair

dude you can’t just do that

>> better than you @callmemj

oops looks like i,,, Just. Did.

> why have you heard something @theogspider

not to call out a fellow Powerful Woman but you cant play any sports MJ

>> beter barkour @pbparker

she’s got a point

>>> better than you @callmemj

ofc she’s got a point she’s black freaking widow

  


THOR @GodOfThunder

I believe my brother has actually stolen a Midgardian and I’m not sure what to make of it. Does this mean I am an uncle now?

> lowkey’s kid @smileystickeronmychromebook

oh my gods p l e a s e

> spandexter @spider-man

thor would be the best uncle, sorry i don’t make the rules

>> hoppin n boppin @Hawkeye

@spider-man :(

  


Salt and @Pepper.Potts

Return the child, @snekkygod

> trickster @snekkygod

And if I refuse?

>> Salt and @Pepper.Potts

I will hunt you down and return the kid myself.

>>> better than you @callmemj

that’s such a power move

>>> why have you heard something @theogspider

@Pepper.Potts you threatening people,,, is actually pretty hot ngl

  


dish dash gone in a flash @EugeneThompson

Spider-Man should be in charge of the Avengers, honestly. He could keep them in control.

> spandexter @spider-man

aww thank u ! and u included the hyphen this time !!

>> Salt and @Pepper.Potts

Don’t get any ideas. It’s not happening.

>>> spandexter @spider-man

dang :’(

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

no.

> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

just take a moment to imagine that

> why have you heard something @theogspider

i love my little spider but absolutely not

  


beter barkour @pbparker

their’s not a star in the syk and i am100% sober <there’s a picture attached of the night sky. it’s blurry, as though whoever took it had shaky or unsteady hands, but it’s still obvious that there are a few stars near the center of the image>

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

WHAT. GROUNDED.

>> beter barkour @pbparker

daaddddddddd ):

> better than you @callmemj

???????

> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

um???? maybe???? don’t???? do???? That????

>> beter barkour @pbparker

do wht baby i’m soebr like i sad

>>> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

this is all the proof i need and i’m screenshotting it for future purposes

>>>> beter barkour @pbparker

wait harls, baby, hosttuff, were r u i jsut want a hug i rpomise

> Salt and @Pepper.Potts

@YouKnowWhoIAm @ihadmorethanonepotato does anyone know where he is??

>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm 

unfortunately, no

>>> beter barkour @pbparker

;)

>>>> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

no but i have an idea

>>>>> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

@pbparker i’m at the tower

>>>>>> beter barkour @pbparker

!!! omw

  


beter barkour @pbparker

update: i am sober now (not that i was ever drunk, whaaaat) and harley was not there :(

> a potato flew around my room when you came @ihadmorethanonepotato

sorry darlin’ i had no choice

>> beter barkour @pbparker

HFWKSHfLHDIUEWLFH U CAN’T JUST THROW TERMS LIKE THAT AROUND

>>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

@pbparker oh? <screenshot of Peter calling Harley “baby” and “hotstuff”>

>>>> beter barkour @pbparker

i-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dog has a foot fetish lmao


	4. climb on the magic school bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just pretend the magic school bus came out like fifty years earlier shshshshh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found this shit and it was already written and i figured we owed you guys an update  
> idk when the next part will be though

Salt and @Pepper.Potts

Seat belts, everyone!

> hey criminals its me ya boi @spider-man

pls let this be a normal field trip !

> i can move things with my mind @ScarletWitch

with the frizz ?

> 20/20 @Vision

No way!

> caw caw mothafuckas @Hawkeye

awwwWWWWW

> why have you heard something @theogspider

cruisin on down main street youre relaxed and feelin good

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

next thing that you know you’re seein

> respect my drones :( @Falcon

WAH HA HA HOO

> iced americano @capsicle

Octopus in the neighbourhood!?

>> hey criminals its me ya boi @spider-man

how do u know that-?

>>> iced americano @capsicle

We used to watch it in school. How do you know it?

>>>> i can move things with my mind @ScarletWitch

they still show it in school fdsjkfhrelstjd

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

what is this and why does everyone know it

>> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

i’ve never been so disappointed 

>> caw caw mothafuckas @Hawkeye

omg you uncultured swine

>>> lowkey’s kid @smileystickeronmychromebook

#ShowIronMantheMagicSchoolBus

  


come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

wow thanks dad just another thing you took and another way you fucked up my childhood <there’s a picture of almost all of the avengers sitting in the living room with The Magic School Bus playing on the screen. peter’s face is blurred. the photo appears to have been taken by the security system aka Friday>

> the rhodes not taken @ColonelRhodey

I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Magic School Bus before today.

>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

my dad didn’t let me watch stuff like this :/

> iced americano @capsicle

How does it feel knowing someone literally over a hundred years old knows more about some things that are apparently still relevant in pop culture than you?

>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

pretty shitty thanks

>>> d u c k e t @jbbarnes

lmao rip tony

> beter barkour @pbparker

but u r enjoying it right ?

>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

i love it and thAT’S WHY I’M SO UPSET

  


caw caw mothafuckas @Hawkeye

come to wattpad we have 2000 characters instead of a measly 280

> yourworstregret @someemosuperfan

i’m-????

> William from second grade @remember_me

what do you even do on there-

>> caw caw mothafuckas @Hawkeye

i read Hawkeye x Reader fics lmao

>>> like123 @abcbabyuandmenow

I’M-!?!?!?!?!??

  


the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

what if i made an iron man suit but had it shoot potatoes as projectiles instead of actual bullets and stuff

> beter barkour @pbparker

wait what i’m getting from this is u can make an iron man suit ?

>> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

mayhaps

> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

okay but what if you didn’t

>> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

why not, old man

>>> come ON @YouKnowWhoIAm

because i said so.

>>>> why have you heard something @theogspider

that’s such a dad card-

>>>> the rhodes not taken @ColonelRhodey

and you claim you’re not their father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm running out of ideas help


	5. the lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to @FloofyTMCCWritez  
> thanks for the ideas !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look,,, i'm sorry if took so long. i'm not gonna make excuses but please take this and enjoy it

deadpool @mercwithamouth

how come when life sucks that’s a bad thing but when your dick is being sucked it’s a good thing

> hey there criminals its me ya boi @spider-man

remind me why we’re friends

>> deadpool @mercwithamouth

;)

>>> hey there criminals its me ya boi @spider-man

s i g h

beter barkour @pbparker

when u rlly think abt it being trans is a lot like a pokémon evolution

> spider-mom @theogspider

sweetheart, when was the last time you slept ?

>> better barkour @pbparker

that’s top secret i can’t tell u

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

...uh what

> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

america explain

> dish dash gone in a flash @EugeneThompson

lmfao geek

>> better than you @callmemj

we been knew moron

better than you @callmemj

i just want everyone to know that @pbparker and i were hanging out and so he sent a picture to @ihadmorethanonepotato , who, not knowing what i looked like, assumed from Peter’s caption “hanging out with my girl” that we were dating

> better than you @callmemj

he replied with “wtf???? YOUR girl?? i thought you were single peter lmfao wow way to fuck with someone” to which peter replied, “that’s mj”

> better than you @callmemj

when peter asked me why “harls” seemed so mad, i explained that he was jealous. peter immediately blushed and i said something along the lines of “ooh you have a crush”

> better than you @callmemj

he’s been ranting for the past five minutes about how he “doesn’t have a crush on him! Just because he’s super smart and attractive- I mean! I don’t fall for every cute boy I see. He’s just… a very smart, funny, kindareallyveryhot friend. I don’t like him, and he definitely doesn’t like me.” They’re so oblivious. Send help

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

> beter barkour @pbparker

mj u said u wouldn’t tell

> Iron Dad @YouKnowWhoIAm

i have a thousand headaches

> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

lmao they’re almost more oblivious than lesbians haha and i’d know

>> better than you @callmemj

key word almost. i’d know too, if you catch my drift

>>> the smartest teenager you’ll ever meet @shuri

YOU W H A T

>>>> better than you @callmemj

KEY WORD ALMOST

disaster lesbian @shuri

help @spider-man what are the best vines to use when you’re trying to convey to your crush that you like her and you’re a dumbass

> EXPECTATIONS @smileystickeronmychromebook

wait i know this one

> EXPECTATIONS @smilestickeronmychromebook

hey i think you’re pretty cool, i like you a lot, maybe we should hang out or something…

> hey there criminals it’s me ya boi @spider-man

just send her this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw5L7oGKSnA

>> disaster lesbian @shuri

perfect, thanks

>>> disaster lesbian @shuri

@callmemj watch the link, coward

>>>> oblivious lesbian @callmemj

what

>>>>> disaster lesbian @shuri

wathc the goddamn link, c o w a r d

spider lesbian @theogspider

are you a disaster lesbian or an oblivious lesbian. Ha, bitch, i’m better. i’m a spider lesbian

> salty lesbian @Pepper.Potts

I’m just salty. Always.

> disaster and oblivious lesbian @pbparker

jokes on you, i’m both

Iron Dad @YouKnowWhoIAm

if one more person tags me to #IronLesbian i’m suing.

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

@YouKnowWhoIAm …#IronLesbian

>> Iron Dad @YouKnowWhoIAm

fuck you

hey there criminals it’s me ya boi @spider-man

guess who’s going to wakanda!!

> disaster lesbian @shuri

omg i’m gonna finally meet you in person i might cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who finally decided on some ships


	6. RATATOUILLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ratatouille is destroying everything i own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been forever but i finally got my computer back and i'm working on the next chapter of my DID Peter fic  
> anyways enjoy this in the meantime

caw caw mothafuckas @Hawkeye

“if i don’t love it, i don’t swallow” - a quote from Ratatouille, 2007

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

“do you know what you’d like, sir?” - ratatouille @pbparker back me up

>> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

“yes i’d like ur heart roasted on a spit” - ratatatatatouille

> EXPECTATIONS @smileystickeronmychromebook

“i’ve never disappointed anyone before bc no one’s ever expected anything of me” - the only good movie about rats that cook (believe it or not, there is more than the one)

> Ned @guy.in.the.chair

“if you are what you eat then i only want to eat the good stuff” - Remy, Ratatouille, 2007

disaster lesbian @shuri

omg omg omg i’m finally meeting @spider-man <It’s a picture of Peter, in his spider suit, swinging around Wakanda with Shuri clinging to him. It appears to have been taken by someone on the ground>

> hey there criminals it’s me ya boi @spider-man

:)))))) this is so much fun i can;t believe this a H

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

lucky ):

>> oblivious lesbian @callmemj

ikr @shuri when spidey leaves go with him i deserve to be able to meet you

>> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

should i be jealous

spider lesbian @theogspider

@Pepper.Potts spar with me

> salty lesbian @Pepper.Potts

no

>> spider lesbian @theogspider

what do you mean “no”

>>> salty lesbian @Pepper.Potts

well i certainly don’t mean yes

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

aunt nat i’m no expert but i don’t think this is how u flirt

deadpool @mercwithamouth 

hey,,, @BruceBanner if you were a top would you have to say “hulk smash” every time you did the nasty

> Iron Dad @YouKnowWhoIAm

JESUS CHRIST why am i even seeing this post

> THOR @GodOfThunder

Hello, little Midgardian! Bruce doesn’t check Twitter anymore, so usually I tell him about any posts involving him. However, I don’t understand what this post means so I shall tell him to look at it. Expect a reply or report soon!

>> EXPECTATIONS @smileystickeronmychromebook

imagine getting out of the routine of checking twitter every fifteen minutes then you come back just for this nightmare of a post

> The Other Other Guy @BruceBanner

IF I was a top? Bold of you to assume I’m not.

>> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

this wasn’t even directed at me and i’m still recoiling

the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

melting butter IS my mental state. no i will not elaborate

> oblivious lesbian @callmemj

rt

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

@shuri hey you might wanna check on your s/o

>> disaster lesbian @shuri 

you might wanna check on yours lmao

>>> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

we’re,,, not dating ?

>>>> disaster lesbian @shuri

for real? whack

oblivious lesbian @callmemj

i’d like to publicly inform everyone that i have the best s/o ever okay that is all thank you @shuri

> disaster lesbian @shuri

stop this is harassment

>> oblivious lesbian @callmemj

<3

> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

okay peter is best boy but shuri can be best girl i guess

>> disaster lesbian @shuri

@pbparker not dating my ass

>>> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

i- i simply don’t know what to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why does it always end with peter confused/flustered
> 
> i know this was short okay i'm sorry but pls comment anyway i need validation


	7. RomanON and OFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> behold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this one's short and i'm sorry i just wanted to get something out ):

disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

so i’m watching old buzzfeed videos or whatever and SHANE MADEJ IN A HOOP EARRING I-

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

i haven’t had a gay panic this bad in,,, several months

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

he’s just,,, it’s,,, EIFJKEK

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

i can’t stop screaming send help

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

HOW DOES ONE RECOVER FROM THIS

the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

@pbparker ;) <Attached is a picture of Harley, wearing one singular hoop earring and winking at the camera>

> disaster and oblivious gay @pbparker

STOPEOUFJEJJF

> can’t spell abbie with ab @akeener

is that… my earring-?

>> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

shshshhshsh 

>>> can’t spell abbie with ab @akeener

DID YOU TAPE IT TO YOUR EARLOBE <It’s the same picture, but zoomed in. You can clearly see the tape attaching the earring to Harley’s ear>

>>>> the only ten you see @ihadmorethanonepotato

SHSHHSHS

Iron Dad @YouKnowWhoIAm

natasha :)

<Attached are two pictures. One is of Natasha, scowling murderously as usual with the word “RomanOFF” printed on it. The second is of Natasha, caught in a rare moment where she’s smiling, with the word “RomanON” printed on it>

> salty lesbain @Pepper.Potts

Tony. Really?

> hey there criminals it’s me ya boi @spider-man

omg ur making dad jokes like a real dad im so proud of u mr stark

> spider lesbian @theogspider

i’ll kill you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added this to the first chapter but i figured i should add it here too for returning readers so  
> https://discord.gg/rZsGwXz parkner discord server !! join us ! there's a ton of super cool peeps and it's a good time  
> you don't even have to like parkner *that* much i swear

**Author's Note:**

> WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES ?
> 
> please leave a comment and kudos below !! lemme know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see from this fic :)


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